Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
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