Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
