when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
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