i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
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