What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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