Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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