Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
