Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
