No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
