So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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