she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
