Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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