i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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