Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
