She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
