Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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