You're a womanizer and a bitch.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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