I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
