i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
