we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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