just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
What a dumb baby whore.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
