Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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