I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
