I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize
