The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
All the doctor said was why
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
