Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
