I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
