I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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