i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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