She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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