my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
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