Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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