Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
