some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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