dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
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