She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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