And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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