it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
