A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
