$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
