so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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