he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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