I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
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