I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
