Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
