Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
