yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
