people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
