oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I want to be your penis for a week.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize
