reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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