My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
