How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
