you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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