And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize