You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Randomize
