I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
